Views: 244
My friendship with Sasha Mei started at a dinner party. It was a particularly snowy night, and she was throwing a soirée with her friend Amy Yu as part of their hosting collective Yu & Mei. The airy loft in Toronto’s East End had one long table draped in white cloth, set with blue napkins, rustic burgundy florals and handwritten notes sealed in yellow wax. I walked in knowing almost no one, but during a family-style supper, the strangers on my end of the table became friends. We laughed, ranted and lingered over orange wine until our eyes got droopy. Mei fluttered about the room in a long black dress and a slicked-back bun, topping up our glasses and clearing our scraped-clean plates. [instagram-oembed url=”https://www.instagram.com/p/C5B-69fPQqg/?hl=en&img_index=10″ /] Since that night nearly two years ago, I have eaten with Mei many times. From chef-run extravaganzas in rented spaces to Sunday girl-dinner smorgasbords at her apartment, I’ve learned a lot from my friend about the magic of sharing a meal. And the internet has, too. Brands have tapped her to craft elaborate tablescapes, and lifestyle blogs have discussed the contents of her fridge (which, chicly, has two martini glasses chilling in it at all times). Her hosting leaves me full in every sense—my body nourished, my heart warm. Ironically, this talent was born from her feeling somewhat out of place. “I never fit into university going-out culture,” she tells me over martinis one Friday evening. “I wasn’t very good at going to parties and chugging beer. But I loved a gathering.” After graduating, she began inviting people over—both close pals and friendly acquaintances—for a home-cooked meal, and got hooked on the result. “Dinners are the best environment for throwing strangers together,” she says. “That’s what I found comforting: at a house party, I always felt compelled to be drinking, but at a dinner party, I could do what I like to do, which is eat.” [instagram-oembed url=”https://www.instagram.com/p/DHV7peWxyNx/?img_index=1″ /] She argues that food is a community event: it should be enjoyed with others, it should be shared and passed around; it should be talked about at length. “One of my favourite questions is, ‘What did you grow up eating?’” she reflects. “It’s a great way to understand where people come from.” After years of creating fashion content online, co-founding Yu & Mei—a professional foray into hosting, with brand partners like Shiseido and Canada Goose—was a natural next step. It started in 2021, when the world was longing for connection post-COVID. Together, Yu and Mei would gather guests from different backgrounds in a room with good food and personalized place settings, and see friendships form. This is where Mei gets the most satisfaction. “There’s a moment towards the end of the main course when all the movements naturally fall into place,” she notes. “People are reaching for things. People are taking photos. People are deep in conversation with one another, laughing. It’s like a symphony.” [instagram-oembed url=”https://www.instagram.com/p/DId9y05urP_/?img_index=1″ /] Though she’s hosted nearly 20 large-scale dinner parties to date, she still considers herself an amateur. Why? “I think the key to hosting is never to take yourself too seriously,” she says. “If you do, you take the fun out of it.” To Mei, a dinner party shouldn’t be about status signalling or career networking. It should be cozy and, in her words, make you feel sort of high. “You lose track of time. You feel blissed out. You can say what’s on your mind without being made fun of,” she explains. This is what I experienced at that first supper a few winters back. There’s something magical about bathing in warm light, eating buttery sesame seed bread and wearing your favourite dress with a group of new faces that are just as glad to be there as you are. Sure, a stunning centrepiece and a curated playlist are great. But ultimately, Mei’s goal is simple: “Regardless of whether it’s a big or small dinner, I just want my guests to exhale.” Below, she shares her top tips for how to host a dinner party.
Make it manageable
“Know your strengths. As much as I love to be in the kitchen, when it comes to a dinner party of more than six people, I’m not cooking—absolutely not. I can set a beautiful table and plate things nicely, but I’ll call in for help. A potluck is so chic.”
Plate with care
“Have a lot of serving plates; they can be mismatched and idiosyncratic. Just make it special. Even if you’re only eating a Timbit, plate it with intention. Turn it into an occasion! There are only so many meals; we have to celebrate each one.”
Get squared away
“If the dinner party is in your home, don’t be afraid to ask your guests to help clean up. It’s never fun to wake up to a pile of dishes. Tidying together gives you an activity: you can put on a great disco playlist and just get going. The after-party is the best part anyway.”
Consider your clothes
“Simplicity is key. You can’t go wrong with a slip dress. I am not about layering! If you are hosting, your shoe should be no higher than a kitten heel, because you will be running around. I prefer flip-flops or ballet flats, and if I must, I’ll wear a long dress to cover my feet. You have to be comfortable, and if you don’t feel fancy enough in your outfit, add jewellery.” [instagram-oembed url=”https://www.instagram.com/p/DIEUzystqdX/?img_index=1″ /]
Batch the bevies
“I don’t bother with fancy drinks unless I can make them ahead of time. Family style is the best way to go. Make a pitcher of cocktails—Alison Roman has an incredible martini recipe—or scatter bottles of wine about the table. Let people serve themselves. That breaks the ice; it makes things more intimate.”
Master your moodboard
“Keep a camera with you. My inspiration for tablescapes comes from random colour stories I see on the street. One Yu & Mei dinner palette was burgundy red, cornflower blue, pistachio green and cream. I saw those tiles on a home in Paris and took a picture because I loved that combination.”
When in doubt, DIY
“I try to always have something personalized and handmade, whether it’s a written note or a little crafted napkin holder. The most precious gift of all is time, so showing that you spent it is worth a lot.” Continue Reading
