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Mountain elegant, colourful creative, blacktie safari, desert formal… Wedding dress codes (and their related events) parted ways with reality sometime during the past decade, which has made being a well-dressed guest an expensive and often confusing headache. And while attending a bachelorette party with a cowboy boots-and-white-bikini dress code is tough enough, playing host is hardly easier. When you’re the one throwing the soiree, choosing your outfit can often feel like the last task on the list—far below making ice or curating a jazzy yet unpretentious playlist. I haven’t hosted more than a toddler play date in the past four years, but now that I’ve moved into an actual house (with a dining room…and a deck!), after having spent a good chunk of my adulthood in apartments, the thought of throwing a cinq-à-sept on the patio or a fancy martini night is tantalizing. But the question of what to select from my closet for these occasions? Slightly puzzling. Aside from matching the energy of the event, a host’s outfit has to facilitate two unglamorous but practical abilities: to move around nimbly and to put their guests at ease. “The best thing a host can do is dress for the event they’re hosting,” says Lizzie Post, an etiquette expert and greatgreat granddaughter of Emily Post. Irene Kim, a Toronto-born, Paris-based stylist and the writer of the Substack In Moda Veritas, agrees that the vibe of the outfit should match that of the event. “Is it a casual lunch gathering, a seated birthday dinner or a cocktail party with dozens of guests?” she says. For most informal events, Kim suggests the “fail-safe” combo of a relaxed dress shirt and jeans plus jewellery and shoes to dial the outfit up or down. Her own typical host uniform consists of a crewneck sweater and on-trend bottoms. For anything fancier, she relies on a slicked-back bun, an all-black outfit and sharp shoes. “I like the ease of all black in interesting cuts and proportions,” she says.
Photography by Maggie Devereux
Britt Barkwell, co-founder of Toronto’s elevated-basics brand T.Line and a seasoned host, says you can’t go wrong with a crisp shirt paired with a great denim. “It feels fresh, effortless and unfussy. Plus, it gives you the freedom to move around the kitchen and take care of your guests while still looking pulled together.” The mention of a host in her kitchen in jeans involuntarily conjures an image of Meghan Markle barefoot in ripped denim having Will and Kate over for the first time, which for a royal cynic (couldn’t be me!) suggests a kind of performative laid-backness rather than the actual ease that Barkwell strives for.
Photography by Kayla Rocca
Kim also reminds us that “whatever we’re wearing, we need to be comfortable.” Of course, this depends on how hands-on a party host actually is. (Carrie Bradshaw wore a tea-length cocktail dress and bedazzled high heels for Charlotte’s birthday in And Just Like That, which was fitting for a fully catered affair in a sparsely furnished Gramercy Park townhouse.)
“The best thing a host can do is dress for the event they’re hosting.”
“Whatever the occasion, being a good host is about creating a great experience for your guests and making them feel relaxed and welcomed,” says Kim. “What you wear as the host is an extension of that. I think it’s important to look put together and like you’ve made an effort while also ensuring that your guests won’t feel over- or underdressed.” Speaking of guests, should they be given a dress code, too? Kim and Barkwell both say that lighthearted dress codes for intimate affairs are a “do” but not a “must.” “For anything beyond a casual gathering, a gentle style cue can actually be a gift—the key is for it to be inspiring, not intimidating,” says Barkwell. When all else fails, Barkwell leans on a reliable, if obvious, assist: the ubiquitous bold lip. “It’s the quickest way to look instantly polished and put together, even if you’re rushing,” she says. If it ain’t broke…right? This article first appeared in FASHION’s November 2025 issue. Find out more here. Continue Reading
